Thursday, January 27, 2011

Egg Retrieval and Fert Report!

Yesterday was the BIG DAY! Egg retrieval day.  Its always sooooo scary to think about everything that has led up to that day.... the shots, pills, etc. and nothing is for certain.

Brian and I got to the RE's office on time.  We waited in the lobby for someone to come get us to get things started.  A huge guy in scrubs walked out and instantly started cracking jokes.  It was the anesthesiologist.   I'm sure he was just trying to be funny, but saying that he had drank too much and hoped he could find a vein were not things that I wanted to hear at eight in the morning when I was about to get stabbed with a huge needle. 

Anyways, to say the least I have HORRIBLE veins.  The only place that they can usually get an IV started in me is in the top of my hand.  I told this guy that and he was like ummm, I think i'm gonna go for the "3 point shot from the corner" meaning he wanted to do the IV in my wrist.  I tried and tried to convince him that it wasn't going to work because I had crappy veins, and he said, "Don't be a self fulfilling prophecy... just let me do my thing." Sure enough, he dug around for about 5 minutes while I started hyperventilating and swearing  a whole bunch and then was like, "Yeah, that ones not going to work." Well SHIT! I could have told you that you idiot!!!! I was super mad to say the least.  I now have a bruise about one inch wide and about three inches long on my wrist.  It looks like Brian put me in handcuffs and dragged me around the house.  I guess I will be wearing long sleeves for a while so people don't think I'm being beat up.

After that, he put the IV in the top of my hand and it really didn't hurt at all.  I mean, no, it didn't feel like kitten licks, but it was not as bad as the wrist.  Shortly after that I was in la la land for a while......

When I came to, I was in the recovery room.  I don't even really remember getting out of the OR and going to the recovery room.... all I know is that I didn't have any pants on still.... but I guess all of the docs and nurses at the clinic have seen my hoo ha a million times anyways so whats the big deal if they see my butt hanging out the back of the gown too.

The embryologist came in and told us we had 21 eggs!!! I was pretty shocked.  I was thinking we were going to have about 9, so Wahoo for 21!!  I went home and spent the rest of the day sleeping and watching T.V. so that was nice I suppose.  However, I did still have to go to work in the morning today.....

I woke up today and felt way better than expected.  So far, I don't have any symptoms of OHSS like last time, so I hope that they don't show up.  I knew that I would be at work this morning with no cell service so Brian and I gave them his number to call for the fert report.  So here it is.....!

Out of the 21 eggs 17 were mature and 16 fertilized with ICSI (where they inject 1 sperm into each egg.)  Wowsers! I am thrilled to say the least.  They will call again tomorrow and let us know how many are dividing normally.  This cycle is looking promising =)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Big Day Tomorrow

After four follie checks and a million blood draws, they have finally decided that my eggies are ready to come out!  I went in on Monday for my final folllie check and they measured nine that were greater than 14mm.

I got the call on Monday afternoon that I was to trigger that night.  I was at work when the nurse called and I immediately went into a panic.  I knew that I would have to make about a million days of substitute plans, but it seemed so far away.  (Yet it was here already!) I rushed around school making copies and writing plans but finally had to leave at about 6 p.m. so that I didn't get locked into the school.

Anyways, here we are! Tomorrow morning I have to go in for my egg retrieval.  I must say that I hate going under anesthesia.  I hate the feeling of the needle going through the skin for them to put the IV in. I don't think they have ever gotten one in less than two pokes.  Ouch! 

I am really hoping that all goes well and that I don't get sick! I just hate the way that the drugs make you feel afterwards.... hungry yet nauseated at the same time. Ick. Wish me luck!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Follie Check

I am now on day six of stims.  I went in on Thursday and also today for them to do an ultrasound to check how many eggies are cooking!  On Thursday there were 5 "lead" follicles and a bunch more small ones.  Today, there were 18 total!  With my last IVF I had 23 eggs and got OHSS, so hopefully 18 of the eggs will be mature but not give me OHSS! (Which is miserable BTW.)

The nurse will call me this afternoon after the bloodwork comes back from the lab.  I will most likely go back on Monday and see when I will trigger!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Hope!

I managed not to die during my TWO shots that Brian had to give me today.  (just in case you were wondering.)

I did, however, forget how to mix the meds up!  I could not for the life of me get 1cc of the water stuff in the syringe!! I was in the kitchen freaking out because I didn't want to screw up $100 worth of meds in like two seconds.  I eventually figured it out, but not before I was completely frustrated.

Brian gave me both the Lurpon and the Menopur shots.  Usually the Menopur burns like hell, but it wasn't horrible this time.  No bruising yet either! 

Anyways, I am trying to look at this cycle as a new beginning and a source of hope.  As many of my friends have said, "I could never do all of these treatments!" But, I have to do what I have to do if I ever want to have a family.  With this first shot of the FSH medication (follicle stimulating hormone) I have a new sense of hope. 

I hope that I get enough eggs.
I hope that I don't get OHSS again.
I hope that the transfer goes smoothly.
I hope that I can remain sane during the 2ww (2 week wait)
I hope that I can keep my emotions in check.
I hope that Brian doesn't go crazy from all of my bitchy nonsense that goes along with these hormones
I hope that lots of people don't ask me when I am doing more infertility treaments
I hope I get pregnant again.
I hope that I don't have a miscarriage.

I hope that I don't go through this emotional and physical rollercoaster for nothing.

Stims TONIGHT!

Ever since my miscarriage, this cycle seemed sooooooooooo far away.  I almost feel like I am dreaming and that this isn't really happening- but it is!

Yesterday I went in for BW and an U/S.  They were checking my lining to make sure that it was thin and counted my resting follies.  I had 20 on the right and 13 on the left! Wow, that seems like a lot of resting eggies!! They also did a blood test for estrogen to make sure that it was nice and low.

After the u/s, the nurse told me that everything looked great and that I could start the stims on Monday!  Lat time I was on 225 of Menopur for 7 days and this time I will be dropped down to 150 of Menopur.  Last time I got OHSS and couldn't have a fresh transfer so this time we are really pushing for a fresh because of the increased success rates. 

If you are reading this, thank you, and I really need lots of positive thoughts this time.  I am trying not to get so excited about this cycle because I don't want to set myself up for heartbreak again, but I really am excited! 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Ugh

This will be the fourth time that I have been on Lupron for infertility treatments.  The first three times I seemed to feel fine while on it. It could be because I wasn't looking for symptoms, but who knows.

Today's Lupron shot will be number seven.  I woke up today with a pounding headache.... which I normally don't ever have.  I am also very bloated and extremely tired.  I suppose I don't really know if its the meds or not that are making me feel sort of crazy, but thats the only thing that I can think of.

Instead of just staying home today feeling like hell, Brian and I decided to go out for some "breakfast" even though it was 12:30 and do some shopping.  I had a coupon for American Eagle burning a hole in my pocket and it expires on Sunday.

We went to this outdoor shopping mall just a few miles from our house.  It was really nice to shop outside since its probably 50 degrees today.  We ate at a place called "Cafe de France" and the guy working there kept trying to re-fill my yucky decaf coffee with the real stuff.  I would LOVE to drink a cup of caffeinated coffee (as it may relieve my headache) but the nurse said that I can't have any caffiene or alcohol (boo!) as soon as I start the Lupron injections.  The food was pretty good, but the hashbrowns were square and kind of strange looking, so maybe someone was telling me that I should skip them and save the calories! 

After eating breakfast, we walked around... saw lots of dogs... (they allow dogs in many of the stores at this mall) and went to this store that only sold cupcakes.  They seriously had 3 inches of frosting on them!  It was good, but I could have done without.

Anyways, tomorrow I go in for bloodwork and an ultrasound and if all is well I will start the stims on Monday! Wow!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I finally said it out loud

I have been seriously struggling with the fact that everybody on my Facebook seems to be having babies.  They just don't know how much it hurts.  Just about 15 seconds ago, I put this as my status update:

fucking hell, is everybody I know pregnant? FYI, I'm happy for you if you are, but don't want it rubbed in my face in every single one of your status updates. And, if you do that, I probably already took you out of my news feed. Yes, i'm undergoing infertility treatments and no, its not fun. There, I said it.

I hope I don't regret that decision, but right now it feels really damn good!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Getting closer!

I haven't posted in a while and a lot has happened since! Hmmm, where to start.....

Last week I had a hysteroscopy (aka visit with the hoo ha cam) done to check the inside of my uterus for any remaining tissue from the miscarriage.  The doc stuck the cam in and everything was going fine until I saw what was going on inside there.  Usually the inside of a person's uterus is a light pinkish color.... but mine had lots of discoloration and shades of red. 

I was super freaked out! I thought, "Oh no, not another setback." But, the doc did a biopsy and everything turned out just fine.  They put me on some antibiotics because of possible inflammation and hopefully the "ute" will be back to normal soon.

On Dec. 23rd I started BCPs (birth control pills) to get this cycle going and keep everything regulated.  It seems pretty dumb to me that people who are TTC (trying to conceive) are put on BCPs, but I guess it is what it is.  Some people have weird reactions to the pills, but I feel fine and can just attribute any extra bitchiness to the pills! =D

After about 2 1/2 weeks on the BCPs I got to start the infamous Loopy Lupron injections.  Of course, Brian was out of town when I started the shots.  Great. Thank goodness I have a great friend who lives right down the road that doesn't mind poking me a couple times.  The needles are about the width of 2 hairs but I don't care.  Just the thought of sticking myself with something sharp is not appealing AT ALL!  I think if I had to stick myself I would actually probably die.  Yup, I would just fall over dead and that would be it. 

So for now I take about 85 pills per day, 1 shot and then go in for blood work and an ultrasound on Sunday.  If all is good on Sunday I will start the stims (aka make your ovaries the size of grapefruits) injections on Monday! After that, hopefully an ER (egg retrieval) that will yeild lots of future babies! =D